Junkie to the Core.

Some questions have no answers. Some problems are hard to identify. What is the problem really? From afar it seems a dream worth sacrificing your life for, but the nearer you get the more cracks you count, the more gusts of errant decisions sweep you off the ground.

The deeper you dig, shallower it gets. In perhaps putting life together I've managed to break it to tiny undistinguishable pieces. It has its moments but then the graveness of the situation jolts me back. Somewhere in the middle of existing, I stopped questioning, and now deep in my conscience a demon is rising to boldly ask what I dread most. Is it enough? Is it ever going to be enough? Was it just an option? Regrets maybe? Is there any other way? Is it reciprocated?

I can't quite list down the repercussions. Today, yet again I've been awakened rather rudely and quite frankly it's very liberating. I am free of any shackles or bonds that made me question my own intensions and dedication to some of the most important things in life.

Cursed are those who understand. They can't seem to never -not understand, and this will perhaps be the reason for their downfall. It's easier to not be able to digest everything, gives one, leverage.  

My World is too vast, too dynamic to stop at any interval in time. Morality aside it’s a harmless world that makes no apologies for being too far-fetched.

I hope this dawn lets me destroy the darkness of the moment from the history of my life.

-OVOT

Coke, Drag and Friday the 13th

There are a lot of things in life that one cannot control, and these things bite your ass the hardest. There is no cure for obsession, and no way to control passion. The sooner you understand, the clearer your path becomes. Some things in life are absolute, regardless of their title, and it's imperative that one identifies them quickly. In the midst of the uncertainties, hope, crises, dilemma, matters of the heart and mind, I'm proud to have a few things that are absolute in absolutely every sense of the word. Entwined with the soul if you may.

The weather is such a piss off, makes me so cranky. This month has been so crucial in terms of soul searching. Got a lot of things right that were due rectification since forever, have realized that world really is a shallow place. People can be really shallow, and most often than not your stance might be taken as gibberish and fail to register in other peoples' mind. I laugh at the naivety of people at times who are trapped in a circle so small for so long that nothing in the world would let them break free.

Whenever I was asked about the most memorable day of my life, I'd stare at them and ponder upon their dumb question, and realize that there really wasn't a day that I could think of, until now. Friday the 13^th is a day that I lived my whole life in.

A lot of things have managed to disappoint me vastly this month, and Coke Studio was the final straw. The worst episode so far. Can't believe Rohail Hayatt for producing such utter nonsense. Although looking forward to Abu Farid's performance next episode.

-OVOT