Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Jhooti Saali ... Capitalist Kutta


So Unilever results were announced today. Congratulations to all the successful corporate slaves who managed to bag a well rounded slavish position. Here's wishing you a happy dog-eat-dog corporate slavery. Those who didn't get in, well good luck with the other Corporate Whore, P&G.

February is a very special month. Some very special people were born this month, one lands tomorrow on his birthday. One turned legal and one started college.
This month marks the most important event in my life. It's a status update. It's surreal, far-fetching, beautiful and a little terrifying at the same time.  

I appreciate all my five peeps who know and support me, who put up with all my giggles and trance like state.  As for the real culprit, I'll deal with you in private. You're too precious for this world.  

OVOT

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Cold Turkey


I didn't know life in Pakistan was one of privation until a dear friend went to Turkey. All hell broke loose.
She returned with a personal vengeance to personally compare everything in Pakistan to everything in Turkey. Bottled water, air, boys, girls, food, juice, inflation, shopping, you name it and my chick would have a detailed synopsis of everything down to the different levels of Nitrogen in found in both the countries air.

Oh what a joy to hear her croon to a patriot regarding the absurdities of life in Karachi. The same girl who yelled at me for not eating unhygienic roadside food located in weird locations with grotesque, unclean, silver utensils, thought the bottled water here didn’t taste "proper", as a matter of fact she got Turkish water with her.
The worst thing however was the harsh, rather crude effect of inflation she had to endure. While the whole world suffered from it a year or two ago, the lady love of my life, experienced it upon her arrival, its effect, some fifteen days ago. Doesn't matter that 1 Lira = 59 Rs and around three lacs blown over "extra-curricular activities" in Turkey, the mere God awful juice sold in our college's cafĂ© that costs around 90 Rs., all of a sudden seemed exuberantly expensive .  
I do however agree with her on one thing. Education, but that's a serious matter, will discuss it later.
The girl who yelled at me regarding religion and my almost (according to her) blasphemous take on religion, who was so moral, that her compass ALWAYS pointed North, who didn't so much as let us THINK about doing anything remotely naughty, who controlled and bashed us whilst she was in Turkey, returned with all the above things lost to a barter trade. She came back with …wait for it…  Secularism!!
My sweet innocent pooh darrrling ! I mean all hail secularism but but ..Pooh and her sacrilegious view on some VERY crucial things was enough to send me reeling back to my hyper state (defense mechanism on experiencing weird things) .

Now all Lady Gaga can think of is Turkey. Like a FOB, twenty–one years mean nothing compared to the four months spent doing GOD knows what in Turkey. She's also become a girl. In a pansy sorta way. You know make up, lash curler and the works.
She also recently found out that intellect can be hell of a turn on. Doesn't matter I practically screamed at her every day that it is perhaps the BIGGEST turn on ever!  Doesn't matter that what I said previously she listened to it politely but paid no heed to it whatsoever, but upon experiencing almost the same things she now believes that perhaps it’s the only way to live.

Oh and her one-liners have improved considerably. She's known for her one-liners regarding sex and men. The one I found amusing the most regarding an incident,  " Rabia Khan, don't you see ? The thrust is intellectual not physical….well yes MAYBE physical but not for the time being"
She's become quiet patient too. Which is surprising, I presume its Turkey's weather or its dust particles, has to be. I mean everything about Turkey is so sacred it's like the whole city plunged itself in Ganges before pooh set her foot on it.

The damsel can't wait to go back. Each day is like an incident, one more black mark rather, in the book she is compiling against the gods she doesn't believe in anymore.
My love, I want you to hear this ghazal written by Insha, it's sappy but it's for you. I tell you in person why it matches your condition.

OVOT

Ignore the visuals.  

     

Friday, February 4, 2011

Body Shots


I've always wondered how far a loved one could go to consciously or sub-consciously sabotage the only ones who love them. Surprisingly, quiet far.   

Those who question my conduct, I'd like to ask, is there some special virtue in consistency? Well if there is, I can do without it.

Compassion barely matters, why should it anyway? Some misplaced sense of psycho-ness will always look at it some other way. As the leader of mindfuckers, you'd know the intention but yet again you oh so conveniently miss the point.

I agree with my fellow blogger. I don't get this need for intimacy; especially the physical one, especially when it’s The End? You'd think people who despise such intimacy would refrain from it.

Some things in life are too addictive, things one doesn't ever want to get rid off. One of them is a dirty needle.

OVOT